Friday, April 27, 2007

yeah I know

It's been awhile. I've been working on my alcoholism. So go fuck yourself if you've missed me. I really don't care.

Who the fuck bans SUNFLOWER SEEDS from a baseball park? There is a baseball park here locally that banned SUNFLOWER SEEDS from two of their fields. Granted these fields have the really cool all weather turf. Hell, one field has the entire thing outfitted with this shit. The other just the infield.

I hear the breakdown of seeds on this shit voids some warranty. Warranty? This shit is to last 20 years? What the fuck!

So I go to the Heir's game the other night. He's playing on the holy shit all fake field. I throw some seeds in my mouth and the ump sees me. I'm taking pics and he mentions to me that seeds are banned from this field. I say so what, I know. I'm spitting in the can. He was all like But dood you can't do that here. I'm like so what!

An inning later he comes up and confides that he's acutally supposed to report/escort people off for EATING SUNFLOWER SEEDS on this field and if need be, call the SHERIFF to assist. I said to him go ahead. Really. You get me arrested for eating seeds at a BASEBALL park and I'll be on Fox News by 0600 EST tomorrow. He laughed and said he was just doing his job. I know. He wasn't a dick so I wasn't either. But when the Heir's coach came up and asked WTF was going on I told him and asked if I could smoke a nugget on field instead? That's not banned; at least it's not on the 'banned list'! The look. Oh the look. He wanted SO bad to ask if I wanted to lite a bowl...shit like I have any.....

Even parents are pissed. This is stupid. I should email ConAgra foods (BTW they own David's sunflower seeds; you know..the seeds you can buy in FIVE gallon buckets...for BASEBALL). I really need to read up on the field's manufacturer's website. This is BULLSHIT.

Banning smoking, fucking, homoerotism, chewing tobacco, the word FUCK, I can live with. There are Kids there. But SUNFLOWER SEEDS?!

FUCK Around!

Next thing you know we'll have a lame duck president that can't get shit done.........Oh wait we got that already. I Love listening to NPR news. It beats entertainment tonite hands down :)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Stacie said...

ROFLMAO!

I bet you would get a krautton of free sunflower seeds if you did that...

4/27/07, 8:30 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

The coach is an ass! The rules are stoopid!!

Fuck Around

(see, it just doesn't sound the same! damn!)

4/27/07, 11:02 AM  
Blogger Liss said...

Groovy Groove...could you record yourself saying FUCKAROUND??? I feel the need to hear it with all the hype.

BTW...the sunflowers is rediculous!

4/27/07, 12:36 PM  

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