Sunday, February 17, 2008


Jagermeister is German for "Please Date Rape Me!!!!"

No? You're an idiot.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Psalms 23:2

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

I didn't know the lord swung that way....and the only still water I know is a puddle.

Thanks God.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Fish are stupid

I know fish are stupid. I know this as I've had fish in my home for the VAST majority of my life. I even have the antique stainless steel, flint-bottom tank my dad had as I grew up (I have two stainless tanks....the asshole at superpet won't even know what one is....)

Did you ever see the mythbusters where they tried to teach goldfish to go to the food and said it was busted. Jaime is a moron. You can SO train goldfish. Wanna know how I know? Everyday about dinnertime or later when I walk into the room the fish go nuts. Why? It's time to EAT!!!

So you're asking yourself why I said fish are stupid. Ever sit down and watch fish? Freshwater fish mostly. I don't know about saltwater fish, though I've seen plenty when I dive. Fish are very relaxing. Get drunk and watch fish. It's as good as being stoned. But again, they're dumb as shit. They will continually mouth their own shit as if it was food. Granted they spit it out; but holy shit, it's shit. I think after I put shit in my mouth I wouldn't do it again.

What the fuck do I know anyway. I'm still smarter than you are. You were dumb enough to read this. My estrogen level isn't high enough to do this everyday. I'm no Penn Gillette. There is a reason I have no following. No one likes what I have to say. And yes, I'm a card carrying prick.