Sunday, December 10, 2006

Now Serving Number 78

Following up from the last installment I'd thought I'd share the ineptitude of certain people. I've been known to go out and tie one on every now and again and last nite was no different. I went down to my local dive for some draughts. Place was about 1/2 full of twenty-something hilljacks and the forty-something blue-collars sucking down overpriced well drinks. No bother, just wanted to suck a few back and watch whatever was on ESPN. What was I thinking?

I pony up to the bar and wait about 5 minutes before the fat cow behind it notices me. I order a pitcher of lite whatever and wait and wait and wait. She then comes back and wants to see my ID. Then she asks if I've shown it to her before (not going down the "I doubt you'll ever see my pecker" joke). I say yes as she walks away not even checking my ID. Couple minutes later I finally get my pitcher and she still wants to see my ID. Fine. Then she forgets one other little piece of hardware I might need to enjoy this. A fucking glass. OMFG. Couple minutes later I finally pipe up about it and she's like oops... Oops? Fuck A-around.

So about forty-five minutes later I've had my fill. I had originally given her my mastercard to start a tab thinking I'd stay awhile....yeah right. So sitting there with an empty glass and empty pitcher I wait, and wait, and wait. Finally about 10 minutes later she strolls up and asks if I want another draft. Hello, I'm drinking pitchers! Needless to say I said I was ready to pay up. She then is like did you give me a card? At this point I don't even want to wait for her to ring it up. Got my card back and slapped $8 down and left.

WHAT THE FUCK? Now granted this fat slor lost her tip in the beginning but could it have hurt to even TRY to make up for it? This is the kind of sow that thinks that by wearing a belt around her girth it gives the appearance of a waist. No honey, You'll need to drop about 85 pounds before we even begin to see one of those. Keep buying the junk jewelry, you're going to need it.

5 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

Me thinks you need to change your venue. LOL

12/10/06, 6:23 PM  
Blogger Groove said...

No just walk out when that doofus is behind the bar.....

12/10/06, 6:33 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Now, see, I would take a different approach. I would go every single time she was there and just annoy the kraut out of her....

12/11/06, 6:31 PM  
Blogger Groove said...

I'd be blacklisted in 37 seconds flat if I really went in there to fuck with her....

I'd use words only webster knew...

12/11/06, 7:18 PM  
Blogger Jenn from WA said...

I have no idea where your local dive is, but I think her sister/cousin/aunt whatever was working at my local dive the other night. I really don't think simple service is that complicated, but who am I?

12/18/06, 7:35 PM  

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